Are You Sure It's Heroin?

Nowadays, you don't see a lot a drug busts on TV cop shows and in the movies. Not like the 70s or 80s. Inevitably, once the bad guys were all subdued (i.e., killed in slow motion), a detective would walk up to the assembled crates that were being loaded onto the private plane headed for parts unknown, remove a switchblade from his Robert Hall sportcoat, flick it open, stab a big-ass bag of white powder, poke his finger in said bag and taste a bit of the powder, always being sure to spit it out immediately lest he become a raging junkie. "Yep, it's smack alright."

Now here we come to the crux of my complaint with said 70s/80s TV/movie detective. DO YOU HAVE TO TASTE THE HEROIN TO KNOW IT'S HEROIN?? Let's recap... you drive into an abandoned warehouse at 70 MPH, being sure to smash through the front gate. Several men with automatic weapons try to kill you. SIDE NOTE: To all bad guys with really high-tech automatic weapons-- maybe you would actually hit your target if you weren't wearing mirrored sunglasses inside an abandoned warehouse.

So... smash through gate, kill sunglasses-wearing henchmen, expend many, many rounds of ammunition... it damn well better be heroin!!! Wouldn't you be embarrassed if that shit was powdered sugar? Or instant milk being flown to starving African babies?? Of course it's heroin, idiot.

And shave off that stupid, drooping Frito-Bandito moustache. Trust me, it DOESN'T make you look like Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit.